The minefield that is reconstruction….

As a naive and very scared 26 year old in the world of breast reconstruction I was clueless. I was incredibly lucky to end up with a fantastic surgeon who did a great job. However having done this blog I now know this isn’t the case for hundreds of women.

For those who haven’t gone through with the surgery yet my main advice is take your time doing plenty of research and finding a surgeon who you have faith in and they make you feel comfortable. I have spoken to ladies who have left appointments in tears because the surgeon just didn’t give them that confidence. Its a good idea to know yourself what you think would suit you best before you see somebody. Everybody deserves to be happy with their surgeon and have a great big smile on their face like I did when the ordeal is over.

One interesting fact that is that as a patient your are eligible to go to any surgeon in the UK to find the treatment that suits you. You aren’t pinned down to your area just because you live there. You can be referred anywhere.

When I went to see my breast care nurse she had a gallery of photos on an iPad which were separated into specific techniques. This was really useful but I still think a bit of research done at home and speaking to others is really important. There are various forums on the internet where you can speak to other women going through the same thing.

One forum which is very useful is : BRCA umbrella This resource is specific to those carrying a BRCA mutation such as myself. It is very confidential and you must be able to prove your joining for genuine reasons. This makes women comfortable such as myself in opening up and posting photos of your journey knowing they will remain confidential. There is also a gallery of reconstruction for you to browse through.

Another great website is : ABC After Breast Cancer Diagnosis. This website is brilliant and is trying to focus on bringing together all the relevant info for women going through this process. Including which surgeon offers which reconstruction etc, it is all done from the writers personal experience which I think is so important and valuable to other women.

  
There are two main types of reconstruction:

Some patients if they are having radiation or chemo may not be able to have reconstruction at the time due to the integrity of their skin.

• Implants
• Flap reconstruction- tissue used from another part of your body.

Nipples?

With most surgeries you are able to decide if you want to keep your nipples. Keeping the nipple adds on about a 1% risk of getting breast cancer. My surgeon had not seen a case of BC appear in this site after such surgery (which doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen) but this assured me slightly so I decided to keep mine.

A Nipple sparing mastectomy is what I went for. There breast tissue is scraped away very closely behind it and the nipple itself remains.

Nipple reconstruction is also an option. Nipple reconstruction is done after the reconstructed breast has had time to heal — at least 3 or 4 months after reconstruction surgery.The surgeon makes small incisions and then elevates the tissue into position, forming and shaping it into a living tissue projection that mimics the natural nipple.The new nipple can then be tattooed to add color and create the areola around the nipple.

A nipple tattoo. Instead of using tissue to rebuild a nipple, some women choose to have a nipple tattooed on the reconstructed breast. Some women decide to have a star, a heart, or another meaningful image tattooed on the reconstructed breast instead of a nipple. I have seen some of these and they look amazing!!!

A breast cancer survivor has recently been in the papers with her floral nipples.

Daily mail. Flower nipple tattoos

More info on nipple reconstruction/sparring/tattoos can be found here Nipple options

When you are in the room with the consultant you kind of go blank, and you know they are the expert and just go along with what they say. Don’t get me wrong the main aim of this op is to reduce your risk of breast cancer/remove your cancer, however the reconstruction part is still a HUGE part for a women.

I am not an expert but from my research the main techniques I’m aware of are……

DTI (direct to implant) This is what I had and it requires only one operation as your breast tissue is replaced with a silicone implant. This was then secured with strattice which is a piece of pig skin which acts like a sling to support the implant. As far as I am aware you can’t go bigger with this, but I wasn’t bothered at all about this. This surgery has the quickest recovery time, but as always has its risks.

Read more: Implant reconstruction

Photos can be found here :Implant reconstruction

LD Flap- In a latissimus dorsi flap procedure, an oval flap of skin, fat, muscle, and blood vessels from your upper back is used to reconstruct the breast. This flap is moved under your skin around to your chest to rebuild your breast. The blood vessels (artery and vein) of the flap are left attached to their original blood supply in your backIn most cases, a breast implant has to be placed under the flap to achieve the desired shape, size, and projection. A latissimus dorsi flap procedure leaves a scar on your back, but most surgeons try to place the incision so the scar is covered by your bra strap. This type of surgery can leave you with some weakness in certain movements so isn’t suited to everybody.

Read more : LD flap breast cancer.org

Photos can be found here :Ld flap reconstruction

TRAM- This stands for transverse rectus abdominis, the muscle in your lower abdomen between your waist and your pubic bone. A flap of this skin, fat, and all or part of the underlying rectus abdominus (“6-pack”) muscle are used to reconstruct the breast in a TRAM flap procedure. This is a very common technique however I feel the down sides are two sets of “open wounds” and it leaves a big scar. I could not have this type of reconstruction as I already have a scar going across my abdomen and have had 7 surgeries here due to bowel perforations, so it is a no go area.

Read more : TRAM

Photos can be found here:Tram reconstruction photos

There are also other reconstructive techniques which I am not too sure about but there is lots of info here Breast Reconstruction

I hope this helps anyone going through this decision at the moment or considering it soon

xx

10 weeks on….

I’m feeling great. My boobs look and feel good. They aren’t perfect and never will be but that wasn’t the aim  …. They are always really cold too which is weird. I used to enjoy feeling my warm boobs when It was cold outside , now it’s like feeling two snow balls, of a less saggy nature. I wouldn’t change them for the world though, even if I am part pig now! 

I’m still raising awareness which is working really well. 
I’ve put on 10 pounds since my op and blame all my friends for bringing round so much chocolate, which I obviously had to eat out of politeness. 

I feel vile and need to join a gym to get rid of the weight but  don’t know if I can do things in the gym yet. That’s a blatent lie, I just can’t be arsed. 

  

Here’s a few bits and bobs I’ve been up to…. 

   
This bin the bra campaign is great. People give in their old bras which are sent to third world countries and money is raised towards breast cancer research

 

    
This is see saw in hale displaying my drain dollies which are proving super useful for lots of ladies undergoing mastectomys 

 
Becky want from BBC radio manchester . I did a live interview which was quite scary but I managed to keep it together 

   
http://www.itv.com/news/granada/update/2015-10-08/the-breast-cancer-research-that-could-lead-to-a-major-breakthrough/

This itv piece is brilliant and the research spoken about is so promising for future generations. I’m so proud my mum was the front picture with me as a baby. 

  

    
I continue to get feedback like this on my blog which literally has me in tears. To think I’m helping and giving other women the confidence to act is so heart warming. 

I email so many women a day answering there questions and worries. My emails are littered with boob images- an outsider would think I was a right perv. I’m not a doctor but people have so many questions before going into the unknown,  it’s really helpful to speak to somebody who’s been through it. I had my sister to speak to which was useful even though we had very different operations we still both had double mastectomys, and it appears both like to sport the off the shoulder look too

  

I got a message from a girl a few days ago. It broke my heart how petrified she was but just speaking to somebody who has been through it put her at ease…

“I been so depressed because I’m trying to accept the fact how my body looks like with the scars and everything else

And with scars do they go away and was it hard to find bras as well,im so sorry for messaging you all these questions but this is my first experience going through it and with talking to doctors it’s not the same because when you actually talk with someone who with through it they understand you more”

 

https://likes.asos.com/14228/meet-the-girl-who-had-a-double-mastectomy-at-26/

This asos article is really fun and I think a lot of young girls will be able to relate to

I was also contacted by the editor of Cosmo in New York which was quite crazy 

http://www.cosmopolitan.com/health-fitness/advice/a47123/double-mastectomy-charley-wood/
I am also now writing for huffington post which is cool

http://m.huffpost.com/uk/entry/8221344

I have been told referrals in manchester have doubled since I put my story out there. I bet admin hate me. 

 There is no way I can bring my mum back , but hopefully raising awareness can prevent other people from losing their mums too 🙏🏼

A message from heaven

So my story was published on the daily mail online, the point being to raise awareness of genetic mutations and also to make other people feel at ease in the same situation…..

Daily mail

From some of the comments it is clear a lot of people have no clue about the BRCA1/2 mutations, and feel the need to comment some bizarre stuff…..

http://www.cancer.gov “inherited mutations in BRCA1 and BRCA2 increase the risk of female breast and ovarian cancers”

  

 

As you can see theres a lot of people out there who don’t have a clue, and a lot of nasty people too. Its quite clear this article is trying to raise awareness not “get my picture in the paper.” As it happens “Michael” I don’t think I look particularly attractive in those pictures carrying round bags of blood,which of course was a completely needless exercise wasn’t it? Also “Michael” I think your a knob.

God forbid some of these peoples loved ones get cancer and they feed them organic food, tell them not to get any fillings and oh of course, stop wearing that bra for such long periods of time! Because these are the things that cause breast cancer, right? Im sure if they were personally put in a similar situation they would be putting their lives in the experts hands and having things such as risk reducing surgery or regular screening.

I hope any women reading that article for guidance were not put off by the idiotic, pathetic uneducated people above.

Thankfully despite the above there were tons of lovely comments both on the daily mail, through Facebook, emails and my blog. Heres a selection….

        

    

As you can see the blog has helped a lot of women and I’m so glad. Awareness of genetic mutations making people more likely to get cancer is so important…I live without a mum which makes me even more passionate to make other women aware that this whole process CAN be done, meaning other children won’t grow up without a mum either. Lots of women put it off and then its too late and they already have the cancer. Other women don’t even want to get tested and would rather not know, which is obviously personal choice…..Im just trying to make those who have thought about the preventative surgery see it in real life and not be scared.

If my mum & grandma were more aware at the time and had the preventative surgeries (mastectomy & hysterectomy) they could still be here now, instead all I have is a memory box…..

It appears I have taken on her love of wine!

My grandma and I down in Poole one summer. I have no idea what my hair is doing.

My mum when she was on holiday, shame I didn’t inherit this gene!
  

My memory box

I have the dairy the year my mum was diagnosed. She was still working as a pharmacist and attending all her appointments. It appears she was getting Paul to decorate the bloody house too! One thing that got me was that she wrote a note in her dairy reminding her to take a book in for one of the nurses at Christies, she was always thinking of others even though trying to battle terminal cancer and run the family home. She took me down to London to watch the Lion King obviously trying to protect me from all the devastation surrounding everyone back at home.    

This was the last birthday card I received from my Mum.

Lastly a poem my sister wrote and read out at the funeral.

 A Message from heaven.

I know my time was short, I left sooner than I planned,

but il always be here with you, please try to understand.

Theres so many things for you to learn,ways for you to grow.

Remember me, be happy, miss me but let me go.

Dont cry because I’m gone, don’t be full of sorrow

smile because I loved and lived,look ahead onto tomorrow,

I live in the sparkle in your eyes, I live in what you do

Wherever you go in life my girls, il always be guiding you

My strength is now within you, I sent it from above,

I also sent my wisdom with my unconditional love,

so when your hearts are heavy, filled with the tears you cry,

Remember I’m apart of you, which means I did not die.

A breeze blowing gently across your face, a snowflake upon your skin,

these things you take for granted and never look within

Its time to stop and and wonder if theres anything you missed

that gentle breeze across your face, it was your mothers kiss.

By Vanessa Wood

8 weeks post op- bra shopping!!!!

I thought now was the right time to go and look for bras. Although I have been told I can’t wear underwiring for 6 months I wanted to have a look anyway.

First stop- Victoria’s Secret!!!! 

  
I found lots of gorgeous bras in here, some styles just didn’t suit the implants. As foobs don’t give you as much of a cleavage because they don’t really move much, certain bras just don’t look great. 

I ended up with this collection !

  
The bra in the bottom of the photo is Rosie range by Mns. It a cute bra and has no wires so I can wear it now!

  

I also got a few sensible non wired bras. 

After a whole afternoon of yanking Bras on and off they were really sore! 

My friends mum made me a gorgeous quilt , it’s so thoughtful 

  
This is the lady who helped me Come up with the drain dollies design and showed me how it’s done!very talented sewer. 

I went out for dinner with my friends in the evening 

 
I wore my new lace bralet which was comfy but when I took it off every line of lace had indented into my boobs!! They looked like a train had ran over them in every direction! I guess that is because of the implant and it being so soft?! 

After wearing sports bras for 2 months I don’t think I will ever be happy in a bra again, they are just too comfy !! 

Xx

Genesis

As you know genesis is the UKs only charity dedicated to breast cancer prevention + prediction

Now if we are hoping to eradicate breast cancer by a certain year, surely research into prevention is the most important thing.

  
Their research is split into 4 parts

Gene research 

Early detection and screening 

Preventative drugs

Diet and lifestyle 
   

  
Genesis invited me to their research event on Thursday evening which was put on for those who help fund the charity to understand what they do. It was so interesting and I’m so glad I went. 

Gordon burns presented the whole thing and interviewed various key doctors and professors involved in the research being carried out. 

Gordon burns is a great journalist and was on the news everyday was at school  

  
 

Genesis vision is to prevent breast cancer for future generations. If research wasn’t carried out into gene research, I may not of been able to have a preventative double mastectomy to reduce my chance of breast cancer, and I could have it right now and not even produce any future generations…

Lester Barr gave an overview of the evening he is the founder and chairman of genesis. 

Gareth Evans – Gareth is the genetic lead researcher. He discussed genes which give you high risk of breast cancer such as me, brca1 and 2. He is involved in a particularly interesting study at the moment called the RnA study looking closer into BRCA 1/2 genes in a different section. If there is a missed mutation in the gene the technique at the moment for testing may not pick this up, this research delves further into the genes looking into the rna as opposed to dna. Hopefully helping those patients who fall into this category

I’m hoping to see Gareth soon in the family history clinic. I would like to ask him more about BRCA1 and my ovarian risks. I’ve been told there’s no screening, so really if I got ovarian cancer I wouldn’t no until it was there, like my mum. 
Dr Michelle harvie discussed the importance of diet and exercise in the prevention of breast cancer. She wrote the famous book the 2 day diet. The aim of this was to make dieting easier with it being mainly focused on 2 days. Her area is particularly important as nobody relates eating well to not getting breast cancer? They relate it to not having a heart attack. 

Cliona Kirwan. Cliona is a breast surgeon but also researcher. She is looking into breast cancers link to blood clotting. She looks at certain anti coagulants and their impact on breast cancer. Obviously anticoagulants have side effects but if that particular property of the drug could be identified that helps with breast cancer, maybe this could be a big break through.  She’s a very busy lady! 

Dr Tony maxwell. Tony discussed a new screening technique which may  become the norm for women. Tomosynthesis allows the breast tissue to be seen in three dimensions as opposed to two. 

  
Professor Tony howell. Tony talked about drugs preventing breast cancer. He discussed tamoxifen (Discovered in manchester!!) which reduced your breast cancer by 40% but also mentioned another drug which could reduce it by 60%. The issue surrounding the latter drug has not been passed in parliament and is due to be discussed again on the 6th november. Let’s hope the off patent drugs bill goes through. 

It must be very frustrating for scientists  to know this drug exists and could help so many but due to certain barriers it cannot be used yet. 
I found all this info very interesting and promising for the future. All the doctors were so passionate about what they do and I really don’t know how they fit it all in! 

  

If it wasn’t for dedicated people like this I may not even be identified as high risk and could still have my breasts and more than likely get breast cancer.

I am glad I chose this charity to support with my drain dollies and look forward to keeping up to date with all their research 

  

Helping raise awareness. 7 weeks post op 😁😁

Time has flown since my operation! I have managed a week in Spain and got myself back to work so things have gone pretty well!!

I have been chatting to genesis about supporting their charity and the fabulous research they do. If it wasn’t for research into breast cancer prevention I may not be in the position I am in now- breast cancer free for the rest of my life. Knowledge is power 💪🏼

  
The village I live in during the month of October is doing a “bin the bra campaign” how this works is ladies put their old bras in these bra bins in various shops and the money raised by the weight of the donations goes to breast cancer awareness. The bras are then shipped out to third world countries where women can’t afford bras. I went along to the shop for the photo and to meet a few people involved, it’s a great idea. 
    
The ladies in the shop also had a look at a few of my drain dollies I had in my bag. They loved them! I’m so happy other people think it’s a great idea to produce these bags for women to help them along their journey. The photographer from the magazine took a shot of me “modelling” how they are used 

  

There were some lovely bras in see saw in hale, I shall be trying a few on when I pop in to bin my old bras! 

I’m really looking forward to actually buying nice bras now, before hand when I didn’t like my boobs I wasn’t so fussed what I wore. 

  I still haven’t been to Victoria secret to spend my vouchers I think next week may be the time!😍😍😍

Since my op I have joined various groups on Facebook relating to BrCa. I have met a girl who had her operation done by Mr Murphy a few weeks after me. She’s absolutely lovely and her results are amazing too!!!! (Boob twins) 

Drain dollies has kept me really busy and I have had a few ladies order some and had some great feedback. I’m really chuffed and so glad to help others. The days of pillow cases and plastic bags are no more! 

  
This lady was the first person to order drain dollies, she’s found them really useful and lots of people have commented on them on the ward !! 

I have managed to do quite a few plain colours and a few pattern so there is something for everyone. 

  

Unfortunately for me the journey doesn’t end here, I have got rid of my 85% risk of getting breast cancer .However…

   
 I’m seeing a doctor tomorrow about the ovarian side of things. The risk of this for me is 65%. I’m petrified as it killed my mum and has no symptoms. Hopefully tomorrow will bring some hope about screening my ovaries to keep an eye on them. As soon as I have children they will be gone! X

  

Drains Dollies

DRAINS! A patients best friends post op..

Most patients having breast surgery and certainly double mastectomys will have drains post op. These drains go into the surgical site and drain off any fluid to prevent seromas (pockets of fluid) developing. This then comes out a thin tube and into a drain. I had my drains in for 2 weeks which is quite normal, some patients have them in for longer.

• Unfortunately hospitals don’t routinely supply drain bags to patients and therefore you have to carry these around yourself.

• I saw my sister and various other patients during my times in hospital use plastic bags, pillow cases, all sorts of things. This meant my sister didn’t leave the house for a few weeks which I think is paramount for a speedy recovery.

So I decided I would make drain bags readily available to everyone who has this surgery donating a percentage of proceeds to the breast cancer prevention charity genesis . Genesis is an amazing charity that focuses on the prediction and prevention of breast cancer and is based at wythenshawe hospital where I had my op. If organisations such as Genesis didn’t carry out this important research I may not have been able to have my risk reducing surgery and would probably go on to get Breast Cancer.

Having the drains in little bags I could carry was invaluable to me, not only do you/friends/carers not have to look at them all day, you can potter around doing things without having to carry them. These are things such as making toast, brushing teeth, and doing your physio exercises (which start from day 1.) I had my drains in for 2 weeks which is a long time to not have the use of your hands!

This lady is 6 days post op, she kindly sent me the photo to illustrate how useful the drain dollies are.

Because the drains are stitched into your body you are naturally very careful with them. The bags provide a very safe secure place for them with ease of use. Which lady doesn’t have experience with a handbag?! The best bit is you can shove your mobile phone and medication in there too!!

Here are some more photos of ladies using their drain dollies out and about.

“My 2 Drain dollie bags have made such a difference to my recovery from risk reducing mastectomies 8 days ago. I had 4 drains – 2 each side, and it would have been impossible to mobilise in hospital and get around now I’m home with out them . They have stooped me snagging my drain tubes and dropping my drain bottles – and kept the bottles hidden from view – so have actually even felt confident to go out in public now Im home . The bags are beautifully made and will make stylish tote bags once my drains are out tomorrow ! The fact these raise money for the charity Genesis , which is working towards preventing breast cancer will mean a lot to anyone buying them . Well done Charley, you’re a genius !”

“These Drain dollies bags are absolutely amazing, such a fantastic idea, no more struggling with your drains. Wished I had these when I’d had my surgery. I’ve just had a dressing pump put on, so I just got a bag, they are fantastic love it, so many people asked where I got it from & what a fantastic idea, thank you so much Charley xx”

When I went in for my surgery I searched high and low for drain bags and found nothing. There are many canvas bags on the market but I couldn’t find anything the right size with the correct strap length to fit the job. The strap length is critical because you are in pain and don’t have much movement in your arms initially, a shorter strap would mean raises your whole arm to put the drain in- ouch!

I want women to be able to access the bags easily and feel prepared for the surgery. The softness of the bag is comforting which is what patients need just after surgery. The drain dollies make having drains very easy to live with, and a nice bag afterwards too 🙂

Some of the bags are plain with others being a bit louder there is something for everyone. I’m so happy to be able to help other women that are going through the same thing I have. Just being able to nip out for a coffee with a friend whilst still having drains can make such a difference to somebody’s recovery . Staying in doors for 2 weeks is no good, a stretch of the legs and some fresh air is fantastic. Drain dollies allow women to do this without the need to feel self conscious in any way.

Drain dollies  are £6  with 10% of each bag going straight towards Genesis. Drain Dollies can be purchased directly from the website

Drain Dollies website

To like and view the Drain Dollies Facebook page click here Facebook page

The bags will soon be available to purchase on the Genesis website. To read about Genesis and the fantastic research they carry out please visit Genesis

Read more about Drain Dollies in Living edge magazine

Once your drains are out you then have a nice little bag, I have given a few to friends children and they absolutely love them!

Once my drains were taken out I felt naked! After carrying them around everywhere with me for two weeks it was a strange feeling to be without them!

Post holiday blues…

so I went to Spain 5 weeks post op, I wasn’t sure if this was a good idea but went with it anyway haha. I got permission off my surgeon I would never go against medical advice. 

I had such a nice relaxing time, I would recommend anyone going through something similar a few days away. It was so nice to have a break from everything and for once not have to worry about hospital appointments or taking pills. 
The weather wasnt too hot which probably was a blessing really. I found I was very tired in the evenings and couldn’t stay up as late as my pals. 

One particular swimming costume welcomed the new foobs to the world!!  

 
These are my new boobs after my risk reducing double mastectomy. I am so proud of them. Nobody looking at this would even know, only if you could see them properly would you. The stitches are still very pronounced and they do feel alien to me when I prod them. Sleeping on my front is still a no no and if it happens in my sleep they will let me know! 

   
 
Last week I ate ice creams galore, sat on the beach, read a book just like a normal person! I didn’t have to strip of for a team of medics to stare at my boobs for the first time in months! 

  
Best of all I wore a backless dress!!!!! This is something I have alwaysssssssss wanted to do 😁😁😁😁

Looking back over the past 6 weeks I am still so happy with my choice. I continue to give other people advice and talk through their journeys with them. 

My new boobs have character and tell a story, a story that is very positive and should be made aware to other girls in my position. Everybody should be able to take control of their own life. Xx

Wedding weekend ❤️

This weekend I am off to a wedding down in Essex. I’m looking forward to getting dressed up and feeling like me again. 

  
I do have a pain in my left boob and don’t really know what it is but not going to let it get in the way of having fun. 

Tomorrow I fly to Spain with a load of friends for a week of relaxation! I can’t wait to sit in the sun and chill. I’m not going to go in the pool because of fear of infection but I think I will go in the sea. I have to put factor 50 all over my scars to protect them as Aparantly new scars are very vunerable. 

  

   
    
 

Celebrating the new foobs

This weekend has been fairly relaxing, bar a few too many glasses of wine last night. My boyfriend and I went for a mooch around the trafford centre for clothes, I didn’t have much luck. I should never go shopping without fake tan on because everything looks vile when I look like an albino. Anyway, last night we went out for a lovely meal.

I definitely had too many glasses of wine last night. I wouldn’t reccomend it as I feel ten times worse today, I will never learn!

I’m moving home today out of what I call “the Sproston hotel.” These are one of my best friends parents who have cared for me whilst I have been recovering. The most amazing and selfless people ever. I am actually going to have to do my own washing this week, dreading it!!!

At the end of last week I did a few interviews for journalists that got in touch. Im really pleased that I’m helping to raise awareness. The amount of people who have been in touch with queries has been unbelievable!

Of course last night we toasted to the new FOOBS….

I still haven’t been to get measured yet because there may still be some swelling. But I will get it done this week, I’m really happy with the implant size I think they suit my body shape well. I cannot wait to go to Spain and be able to not wear a bra!!!

My boyfriend has gone clay pigeon shooting this morning but when he gets back I imagine we will be having a lazy sofa day. For me nothing beats just chilling in your pajamas watching a good film on a Sunday. This of course gets interrupted when arsenal are playing, annoying !

I’m going to a wedding over bank holiday, I’m really looking forward to seeing all my friends and getting dressed up. I have forgotten what getting dressed up feels like! I love the atmosphere at weddings it’s so special. I definitely won’t be having too much to drink, I found out last night it’s not a good idea in my situation. I still have the odd nap in the afternoon, I must get out of that habit!!!

With talking about the brca1 gene a lot with people recently I feel so relieved to of had the op. I do worry very much though about my ovaries. As that is the devestation I have experienced that’s so close to home. The fact there is no screening for it or symptoms terrifies me. I certainly will be having them straight out when I feel like I have finished my family. It is far too scary to risk in my opinion. I am hoping medicine will advance over the years and a screening program will be put in place. My mums oncologist gave me a ring last week, he is a professor at Christies and specialises in ovarian cancer. I think it will be a great help to go and have a chat with him to understand things properly…..

“I will never see you come back to me with breast cancer”

I have seen Mr Murphy this morning, he’s really pleased with the result and how everything has gone, so  am I! 

He answered all my questions I had. A lot of the problems I’m having he has put down to neurological settling. He said the main nerve comes through the breast and that has been removed and so all the nerves are finding their way back. 

The stitches I can feel under the skin he said will gradually go. He said the pig skin will grow and become a part of me. 

He said more and more young women are having this op as opposed to surveillance as reconstructive technique improves. This is brilliant and will really bring down the breast cancer rates in brca1/2 gene carriers. It is the journey of the surgery that is such an unknown for patients when they are given the option. I think that’s why being so open in my experience has helped other women who have come across my blog in their decision making process. 

He said I can put all this behind me now, it’s all over and I have done really well. He said to not worry about my ovaries and to have some babies and then think about having them out! 

He said I am allowed to go to Spain next week, I must put factor 50 on my scars though even through the swimwear. 

One very comforting thing he said was that he will never see me back here with breast cancer, he took every bit of breast tissue away he could possibly see when in theatre. I got goosebumps and nearly cried! It is such a fabulous thing to be able to have done. It is so sad sitting in the waiting room surrounded by young women affected by breast cancer with their worried partners along side.  

I  am so lucky to of been given such a fantastic surgeon. Not only is he highly skilled he is such a lovely man with a good sense of humour. You see so many consultants these days who are unapproachable but I really could ask him anything. I will be seeing him again in 6 months

  
It has been a long and hard journey but the end result and peace of mind has been well worth it. I will still be in discomfort for some time and not back to my usual self but this is nothing at all in comparison to the alternative. 

💕💞💕
  

So many more fashion possibilities and so much less worry 🙏🏼

3 weeks on from my double mastectomy …
I can wash my own hair yes!

I can open a child proof medicine bottle- push and twist, no!

I can wake up in the morning with boobs that look they have been crafted by a child with play dough until they take shape, yes!

It is quite common I get up in the morning with the lovely sequin detail of the duvet imprinted on my boob like bloody brialle!!

Within a few minutes my play dough boobs decide to take their nice normal shape again.

Random stings underneath my boobs are twinging now and again which do sometimes give me a bit of a shock.

Underneath my skin you can feel the row of stitches connecting the pig skin pieces which I’m guessing will dissolve over time.

The scars have healed so well I can’t believe it. It’s unbelievable how much goes on during the surgery and they are able to sew you up with such precision.

The wound below my boob is where the drain went into my side.

I’m still not sleeping great but it is improving, I’m slowly managing to wriggle onto my side.

SNEEZING- never have I wanted this to happen less. Oh my lord that first sneeze absolutely killed but after that they weren’t so bad, I think I’ve managed to get away with two!
3 weeks of sleepless nights have given me a lot of time to reflect on my decision. I have never once had a moment where I have regretted what I have done. Although my 26 year old boobs have been replaced with sterile sacks of fluid, they are safe. My boobs no longer scream out threatening chants to me daily which play round and round in your head like an ongoing nightmare, they just sit there very still, pert and  unassuming.  It is scary the amount of people today getting breast cancer. It is a scary thought for your everyday person -not just those genetically susceptible. It is strange to look back and think that while I was a toddler with no cares in the world I carried this life threatening gene.

At 26 off my own back because I have lived with the devestation of cancer I took control of my own life. I gained the knowledge and acted on it and it is that knowledge that is so important for young girls to find out. I made a choice, Charleys choice!

I still feel that the chance I was given by the NHS was a gift and I am so grateful. There is no info out there in the public eye about such genes, unless you go hunting for it.

I always used to moan my old boobs looked rubbish in clothes! With my new ones I can even wear backless dresses without the need for a bra! 😄

I have so many new fashion possibilities and so much less to worry about! 🙅

I was told and I have definitely realised your body will guide you. As time goes on I have started to feel better and more up to doing things. Don’t get me wrong there’s still the odd day where I want to lie on the sofa and watch Netflix , but I have been doing other bits and bobs which has been nice.

I hurt myself yesterday in the fabric shop carrying a roll of fabric. I didn’t want the woman to think I was a lazy cow not carrying the rolls to the till! After an outburst of obscenities I had to tell her I had just had an op so couldn’t carry the rolls!!

The support around me is never ending and I still would not of been able to get through this without everybody around me.

Losing my mum was a defining part of my life and I think my strength I built through that experience has helped me this time. I have felt her spirit she had when she was battling within me when I have found times difficult. She fought long and hard against cancer in my teenage years and never gave up hope. I am now blessed that I will never have to battle breast cancer and can put that huge worry to one side, I just wish it was something she could of done before it was too late .🙏🏼

I’m hoping this blog will encourage people to delve into their family history if there are any patterns that could be BRCA related. This is a scenario where a lot of people assume it just won’t affect them, but the 85% statistic suggests otherwise….

#PREVIVOR 

My piece on north west tonight

I realised not all people have Facebook and that’s mainly where my piece was shared. Here is a YouTube link to my story… 
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=SYa_FsGXafk&feature=youtu.be

Monday, physio, first bath- life of a rockstar!!

This morning I am showering and getting ready to go off to the hospital for a check up and physio.

  
My boobs have healed great and my range of movement is quite good. 

It’s a lovely day so I will probably go for a walk this morning.

  My physio appointment went really well and I met a nice lady from genesis which is the charity within the knightingale at the hospital .
Il be back there on Thursday to see Mr murphy. The physio said the pain I’m getting in the implant when bending is probably neurological. 

The Physio said I am not yet ready to go back to work. She said I have lost a lot of muscle mass in the past 3 weeks and it will take a while to build all this back up. I have been given a few new exercises which are a bit more testing to try and strengthen up. 

She said something which has stuck in my head ” we can only do this op once.” Rushing back to work and trying to do too much is only going to undo all this hard work.

The pig skin (strattice) that is supporting my implants has been sutured deep into my pectoral muscle and this can’t be strained too much.

She also said it is only Mr murphy and a guy in the states doing this full strattice coverage op. So the rehab and recovery for people like me is fairly new, which is why it’s important to be so cautious in what you do. 

My first bath!!! Amazing. I used some gorgeous Jo Malone bath oil a friend bought me and soaked in the bath for half an hour. It was divine. 

  

Saturday

Today I got up about 10am, had a nice sleep with the usual barrier down the middle of the bed!! 

My boyfriend and I went to ikea for some drawers it was quite tiring walking round.  

 
After this we went for a nice drink in hale in the sun.

  
I have done a bit of sewing this afternoon to my boyfriends disgust as he tried to nap! 

I then joined him for a snooze  

 
Im starting to feel less crap from all the tablets I’m on which is good. Im taking less and less painkillers as the days go by. What I have to be wary of all the opiates clogging me up and then ending up with lots of abdominal pain. 

A group curry is occuring this eve which is nice although I’m not that hungry, my appetite is not up to much which is very rare for me! 

  
I have just done my exercises and can really feel it pulling underneath where I was cut. But I don’t feel like I’ve lost any movement which is good. 

It’s fridayyyyyy

Yesterday I slept 2-430 in the afternoon then 8-10 at night then went up to bed 10.30-9am not too bad!

I feel a bit better for this. Today I am treating myself to a ” Brazilian blowdry” I have never had one of these before. It is basically a keratin treatment that takes the frizz out of your hair so it is silky and straight. 

I have hair that gos like a frizz bomb in humidity it is awful! My nick name is ” Debbie” due to Lydia’s mum in towie haha 

  
So the process has begun to get rid of Debbie!

  

  
One positive about having major surgery is the joy of being able to have such things done. Normally I would be working full time and not have a spare minute to have things done never mind 3 hours for this! 🙈

On the way back we went to pizza express which was a nice lunch! 

  

I have had a sewing lesson this afternoon with my friends mum, it was so good! 

  
  
It’s Friday which means chinese with the boyfriend, although I am still full from my pizza! 

OGoing backwards, bras and scars 🎶

I feel terrible at the moment. Feel like I felt much healthier last week?! I don’t know if it’s the lack or sleep or the antibiotics but I just feel awful, light headed and sick. 

  
I had a nice catch up with my friend who is on holiday in Turkey at the moment , jel!! 

 
I haven’t eaten today I can’t stomach anything , I just want to feel better 😥😥😥😥

People keep asking what type of bra I’m wearing and I’m switching between the post op marks and Spencer’s one and some like this…

 
These are good at this stage because you have enough movement to get them on and they provide good support and compression. They are also very cheap from the likes of primark and matalan! 

Ppl are also asking about my scar, he has literally just cut into the crease which will fade to nothing. This is why my type of reconstruction I think is the best out of them all, good shape and minimal scarring  

 

  

  

Sleepless nights

I’m getting quite used to these sleepless nights where I spend the next day feeling hungover minus the alcohol consumption! It’s a horrible frustrating feeling not being able to sleep and I know it too well now, I’ve been awake since 3.30 am and it’s now 5.30. I don’t really see myself getting back to sleep now, tossing around in the bed into Positions that just aren’t comfy at all is horrendous! I have been having night nurse before bed since the op but I don’t want to get too used to it. 

I have so many thoughts and emotions whizzing round my head I just can’t begin to settle. I’ve had a wee and splashed my face with water, hasn’t worked. I’ve read the daily mail and scrolled through my Facebook, no luck. 

Hearing from such old friends and family friends has been really nice. Some of them bringing up old memories I had completely forgotten about. I can’t help but wonder what my mum is thinking up there, who she’s nattering to and will she reach out to me in some kind of way 😦
Today was not a good day I have just felt tired and too hot. I don’t know if it’s the infection that’s making me extra hot or just the general muggy weather. I feel a sense of frustration that I just don’t feel quite right. 
My excitement for the day was going to the chemist to pick up some tramadol for pain relief. I didn’t buy anymore night nurse as I wanted to see if I could manage to sleep tonight. 

Today I sat on the sofa browsing the Internet and watching a cheeky heron that was trying to go for the fish in the pond !!  

   

I have also set myself a new task of learning how to sew. My friends mum has dragged the sewing machine out the cellar and off I go! I pinned two pieces of fabric and then started to sew a lovely seam and ended up seeing the bloody pins into the piece of fabric and couldn’t pick them out!!! More practise needed I think!! 

  
I hope I manage to get some sleep tonight. I can’t wait until Friday when I can see my boyfriend , hopefully he can make me feel a bit better x

Exciting day!!

Today has been very exciting as I have known I was going to be on the TV! 

Yesterday BBC news came round to interview me over my blog and story. 

   
 
The piece was shown on North west tonight and I’m really glad I did it. The response has been amazing!! 

The journalist And camera man that came round were lovely and made me feel really comfortable! I was very nervous!! 

  
I’m still not feeling great today I’m so warm and can’t cool down!!! I’m hoping over the next few days I start to feel better. 

  

 

Day 17- Ups & Downs

I didn’t do a blog yesterday because I didn’t get up to an awful lot, other than eating myself into a sunday roast coma.

When it came to the evening I started to feel a bit under the weather. I was roasting hot, but it was a warm day. I looked at my breast and it appeared to have a red blotch on. I rung the hospital first thing and they told me to come in right away. Anything relating to infection is taken very seriously post op.

 Off I went to the hospital and I was called in by the nurse, in came Mr Murphy smiling away. The red blotch is still there, Mr Murphy said everything was looking ok however he does not like to take risks so a course of anti-biotics was prescribed.

I also had a few other questions, on my left breast you can feel almost a wire under the skin. Mr Murphy informed me this was the stitches connecting the pig skin together. Another thing I’m experiencing is a cramping pain in my right breast when i bend down. It feels almost like the implant is doing backflips inside me, no one could provide an explanation for this. Im seeing Mr Murphy next week for further follow up and also for more physio. Things are definitely going in the right direction but It has been a lot harder than I first imagined. I can’t believe I am still this shattered over 2 weeks on. The fact I am not sleeping well at all will play a big part, I really struggle sleeping on my back.

I’m going to a BBQ this evening which I’m really looking forward to. 

   
 
One of my best pals is going back to the Middle East (chief leg shaver and hair dresser) 

Day 15 ☀️☀️

Lovely day again! I slept well last night with the barrier inbetween my boyfriend and I! 

  
We are off to the trafford centre to have a look in Victoria secret, my friends got me a voucher for buying new bras! Amazing! 

  
We won’t be at the trafford centre for long because I get tired easily and don’t want to be in crowds. 

We will probably go sit in a pub garden in the sun this afternoon ☀️☀️

I treated myself to some bits and bobs and got out of there as quick as I could! It was packed and so hot. 

  
  
Personal shopper, I’ve got him well trained 😉 

We popped into hale for a drink which was lovely and then came home for a BBQ. 

    

I have just read this comment on my blog. I can’t explain how happy I am with my decision. I can see why people would be afraid, but when you look at the risks, there really is only one answer. 

  
Early night for me I am wiped! X 

Day 14. Lovely weather !

I woke up today after quite a good sleep. The morning is always the worst pain but today wasn’t bad at all. I started the day with a FaceTime with a friend in London

  
Little visitors are the best!

 
This gorgeous girlie turned up today with this wonderful piece of art! It obviously had to go up on the wall ! 

  

Because it’s a lovely day she wanted to go into the garden. 

  
The plants were watered very well! 

   

  
 
The fish were fed and everybody was happy, it was now time for ice lollies. 

  
As I’ve been having trouble sleeping a friend popped over with some fresh lavender to put under my pillow! 💐

  

One of my oldest school friends I have known since I was 4 popped over today! Sausage rolls from hills in hand and a selection of sweets. Ideal! 

  

I’ve been chatting to my friend who has breast implants. Mine feel so weird so she’s said I can grope her later to see what they are like. 

  

I’ve just had a well needed 2 hour nap I am so tired! My boyfriend is on his way from down south I have erected the barrier in bed and chinese menu at the ready! 
i

Day 13 – unlucky for some but not me!

So today was my first drain free day, it was amazing! Yes, the pain Level has changed from the discomfort of the drains to a soreness of my boobs and a huge sense of vulnerability. When I poke the implants it feels like fresh air and that with the touch of a pin the whole thing would deflate! This will take some getting used to. One major difference is when I lie down watching television i can’t see the bloody TV!! My pert boobs are no longer under the armpit and are now standing to attention as if to say ” you couldn’t get rid of me that easily !”

The S word. SHOWER

 

Well what can I say, today I got in the shower alone, with no help! For the first time in 2 weeks I didn’t have my pals gorping at my arse in the shower or telling me to stand up straight! All helping me of course and ensuring I was improving each day, it felt quite lonely actually!! 

This was hands down the best shower of my life, I could put my entire body under the powerful water and relax. It’s common sense to not have the flow directly onto your chest and to refrain from using shower gels etc on the chest. After a good wash and washing my hair I got out.

I tactfully timed this shower with the time my friend finished her lunch at piccolinos down the road. HELLO chief hair stylist, winning !

After I got out the shower I tried on some gorgeous PJs my friend bought me, I love them, this ensemble prompted the leg shaving a few days ago. Under no circumstances was I to model my new PJs with hairy legs ?!?? 

  

Surrounded by my friends all afternoon was the usual . One friend is a physio and decided to put me through my paces, she was so impressed with my range of movement. 

She said it is so common for women’s shoulders to shrug and and cease up, this leads to tightening of the pectoral muscles  of the chest which you really don’t want . 

  
One of my best friends is pregnant  and she is the first, we are all awaiting that first kick we can feel . That little one can be sure to be so proud of my friend for caring for me so well during this time, even if baby is kicking her in the bladder every half hour.

 We all laughed today about people reading my blog, they must think all my friends are all lazy and unemployed ! This is far from the truth, our bond is so strong that when there is a crisis all the girls try to take a few days off to travel to the area and support one another. I have been so lucky it has been wonderful. I haven’t had a single worry or concern that somebody hasn’t resolved within seconds for me. 
I received a lovely photo today of my friends nan reading my blog whilst on a break from the ironing,  I was so touched. 

 
This evening we all went for a meal at 7.30 to celebrate my friends mum and dad who I am living withs wedding anniversary and the celebration of my drains being out!! 

I had the most amazing evening with them all. 

 
We ended up sat near my friends brother who had taken a girl on a first date, that was awkward. 

  
This is Di and ian my absolute saviours who I have been staying with since the op. It was their 32nd wedding anniversary so a joint celebration , I personally don’t know how she has done it!! 

  
   
I am in bed now snuggled up whilst the girls have stayed out, I can honestly say I’ve never been this worn out in my whole life . 

   
 
I’m off to sleep now I really hope I sleep for a week ,I really do feel like someone has sucked every ounce of energy out of my body. It is this energy I need to continue to be positive and get through this incredibly difficult time 💕💕xx

  

Day 12. Goodbye drains…… I hope!

So last night I went to bed for the last time with drains, I hope.
  
The drains come out when the amount coming out tails off. As I have previously mentioned if they come out too soon you will only get the build up in your breast. Further discomfort would then involve having a needle up into the collection and having it sucked out. I really hope this doesn’t happen to me! I HATE needles, which is quite surprising seeing as I’m like a walking pin cushion. 

A log of the drain activity is very important, il be taking this to the surgeon today, he better be impressed with my organisation!! We have even transferred it from the tatty piece of paper to a nice one! 

  
Here is a picture of the drains before I emptied this morning, as you will notice they really do vary. I have a feeling this may relate to how active you are that day??? 

  
A knock at the door!!! 

  
My friend Alex turned up to see me with these lovely flowers and chocolates. If your wondering why he looks so smart he is a bespoke tailor!! 

It’s 12.00 and I’m at the hospital at 1.00 for my review with the surgeon! I hope this horrible tape comes off as well, it’s covered in bronzer !! 

The drains are out! I am free!!!!! 

My appointment with Mr Murphy was really good. Histology reports showed no pre cancerous cells. My boobs are healing well and the tape was taken off, I now have the stickiest boobs in the north west! Not only was the tape removed but the drains came out! 

  
I was dreading the drain removal due to a previous bad experience with an abdominal drain but it was no way near as bad as I thought. The nurse did it with such care and made me feel very comfortable. 

Mr murphy sat patiently while I fired him with all my questions I have thought of over the past 12 days, he really is fantastic. When can I drive? When can I shower? Do I need to wear a bra 24/7? I also asked him various questions that people have written to me about since this blog. Quite a few girls want to be tested because their mum died of breast/ovarian cancer but this is the only family member who has had cancer. It seems there must be some kind of protocol that a few family members in the family tree need to of had the cancer in order to get the test. 

This however doesn’t stop people for going for the test privately, it could save your life at the end of the day. I am quite convinced if the NHS thought you were in anyway at risk though they would test you. 

I will be seeing him in 2 weeks for further follow up as he has patched me up with a few dressings . I am allowed to have a shower and get things wet which is such a relief! 

We also confirmed which BRCA gene I have. I am BRCA1 not BRCA2. This gene has higher risks for breast and ovarian cancers than 2 but 2 also relates to other cancers. 

This is a photo of Mr Murphy and I. I have told him all about my blog and he is going to have a look at it later. 

  
This man is a surgical magician! He has a reputation for being a perfectionist and it clearly shows in his work. I have nothing but admiration for this guy and will be eternally grateful. He has made my journey so smooth with his fantastic laid back yet professional manner. I couldn’t have wished for a better surgeon and would recommend him to anybody in my position (now don’t you be getting big headed Mr Murphy haha) Mr Murphy is one of very few performing the surgery in this particular way. He is educating others about this technique and I really hope it becomes the norm for people in my position, it has been great. 

I was so happy when I left that I gave him a big hug with tears in my eyes!  This man has saved my life. 

Sat on the sofa

I am now sat on the sofa with a smile beaming from ear to ear. I have put mrs doubtfire on, one of my fave films I used to watch with my mum. 

  
I think I’m going to have a nap this afternoon before my sister comes over, I’m pooped!! X

  

Day 11!

I slept a bit better last night but still not great. I woke up in quite a tangle with all the pillows, clearly desperate to sleep on my side! 

 Today I wandered into hale to get some fresh air, it’s so nice to get outside. I’m finding I get very breathless after walking for a bit, it does take it out of you. 
  
When I got home I came back to a gorgeous bunch of flowers sent to me by a friend ! 

  
And my fave Jo Malone scent, how gorgeous!! 

  
A couple of work colleagues came to visit me all the way from Liverpool, I was so touched. 

Lad chat around the pond

  

A card has been delivered today which was absolutely lovely. Some people are so thoughtful. People I haven’t heard from in 10 years have sent me the most heart warming messages.

  
After an afternoon of relaxing my friends came round to cook me dinner.  

 
I am so lucky to have such an amazing group of friends that have been there every step of the way and ensure I am always ok. I really don’t know where I would be without them. 

  
My friend asked me what I would like for dinner. I said bruschetta and carbonara please, absolute service! Thanks Hannah! 

I ended the evening with a FaceTime with my boyfriend, he lives quite far away so it is difficult not having him by my side right now. I can’t wait to see him at the weekend and have a big hug (not squeezing too hard, hugging is a NO go for me right now!)  

 I just looked out the window and saw the sky, when I was younger driving in the car my mum used to turn to me and say “the angels have painted the sky.” I really feel like she is here with me right now and I don’t want it to stop..

  

Day 10. Shower time!!

Monday 3rd Aug

Today I published my blog online and shared it to Facebook. I have been inundated all day with well wishes, I never expected this!! The blog has had over 13,000 views online and viewed in over 32 countries! I just hope I am raising awareness and inspiring other women in the way I had hoped. I have had messages from people I don’t even know saying how brave I am, it has brought me to tears!!

Well the excitement of my day has been a little stroll into hale, and the biggest treat of them all, a SHOWER.

 Its not every day you can get a pregnant woman to bend down and shave your legs for you! Baby foot in the ribs, thats called friendship!

All women can multi task!
Chief shower lady and hair stylist. Msg me for her number, cheap as chips, haaaaaaaaaaaaaa

These gorgeous flowers arrived today from my friend Hannah x

Dinner with friends.

Its time to go to bed, today has been amazing and so emotional. My Blog has had over 13,000 views in one day?!!!?!?!

I have been in tears at least ten times! I have received messages from complete strangers to old school friends all over the world.

The thing I am most excited about is that this blog is helping people!!!!! I am making a difference!! I have had so many messages from women in my position saying thank you so much for helping them. To have such a connection with these women is unbelievable.

Now I must get to bed, I’m hoping tonight I do better than two hours sleep.

I know my mum is looking down on me and will be so proud. 

Love you mum x

Welcome

My name is Charley and I’m 26, I had a preventative double mastectomy on the 24th July 2015.  I have created this blog as I recover, like a diary. I hope it comes in useful to many other women in a similar position.

This is my journey.