Sleepless nights 

I’m getting quite used to these sleepless nights where I spend the next day feeling hungover minus the alcohol consumption! It’s a horrible frustrating feeling not being able to sleep and I know it too well now, I’ve been awake since 3.30 am and it’s now 5.30. I don’t really see myself getting back to sleep now, tossing around in the bed into Positions that just aren’t comfy at all is horrendous! I have been having night nurse before bed since the op but I don’t want to get too used to it. 

I have so many thoughts and emotions whizzing round my head I just can’t begin to settle. I’ve had a wee and splashed my face with water, hasn’t worked. I’ve read the daily mail and scrolled through my Facebook, no luck. 

Hearing from such old friends and family friends has been really nice. Some of them bringing up old memories I had completely forgotten about. I can’t help but wonder what my mum is thinking up there, who she’s nattering to and will she reach out to me in some kind of way 😦
Today was not a good day I have just felt tired and too hot. I don’t know if it’s the infection that’s making me extra hot or just the general muggy weather. I feel a sense of frustration that I just don’t feel quite right. 
My excitement for the day was going to the chemist to pick up some tramadol for pain relief. I didn’t buy anymore night nurse as I wanted to see if I could manage to sleep tonight. 

Today I sat on the sofa browsing the Internet and watching a cheeky heron that was trying to go for the fish in the pond !!  


I have also set myself a new task of learning how to sew. My friends mum has dragged the sewing machine out the cellar and off I go! I pinned two pieces of fabric and then started to sew a lovely seam and ended up seeing the bloody pins into the piece of fabric and couldn’t pick them out!!! More practise needed I think!! 

I hope I manage to get some sleep tonight. I can’t wait until Friday when I can see my boyfriend , hopefully he can make me feel a bit better x


4 thoughts on “Sleepless nights 

  1. Your Mum is definitely out there Sweetheart all you have to do is look for the signs – they are there!!
    As to your lack of sleep ask Leesh for some Yoga breathing exercises – I find they help me when my head is full of Chitta chatta!! Sending big hugs and remember we all love you and are wishing you well xxxx


  2. Hi Charley,
    You are doing so well. I sincerely hope that you will be able to get a good nights sleep as that helps your mental faculties during the day. The nice thing is that you have lots of cards to re-read and ponder on to bring a huge smile to your lovely face.

    The commendations and loves that have come your way I am sure will continue even though they may may have stopped via emails. {life is just busy for all} So keep up what you are doing, it’s a ‘big’ op you have undergone so it will take ‘time’. When I return to the UK I’d like to get your address ‘privately’ of course to send you a ‘Bouquet’ as previously mentioned.

    Lots of warm loves come your way.

    Take care.

    Bye for now.


  3. Hi Charley
    I am sat reading your blog and feel I am looking at my future. Although this is scary it is a huge help for me to understand the true reality of what I am due to face. My sister died as a result of breast cancer aged 29 and my mum and aunt are both survivors of breast cancer, having two small girls of my own, like you this was not an easy but a straight forward decision for me to have this preventative surgery. I can only hope that throughout my journey I am able to show bravery and strength like you have.
    Thank you for sharing your story.
    I wish you joy and happiness for your bright future.


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